I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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