Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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