Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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