best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
