She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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