You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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