Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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