I think I am morally bankrupt
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
