I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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