you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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