She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
