Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
