I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will pee on everything he values.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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