Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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