I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
