I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
