if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I got inside last night via doggy door
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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