He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
