just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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