she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize