I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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