these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
