He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
