Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
