Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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