the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
two words...techno handjob
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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