Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
