Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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