Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
