if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i used baking grease as lip gloss
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
