He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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