I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
