oh god the rape fog is back!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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