Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
