Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
