Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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