Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
