Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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