Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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