Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
