Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
