Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
