Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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