and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
