So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Come on in and take your pants off
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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