I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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