help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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