so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
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You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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