apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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