And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
