I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
