Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
did you just send me my own nude
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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