dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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