yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Randomize
