This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
