I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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