he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
