I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
