Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
