Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
What a dumb baby whore.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
