look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
