I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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